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newVideoPlayer("/82_Starlet_JDM_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Those sand rails had better look out, because the Starlet- right off the boat from Japan and sporting JDM fender mirrors and right-hand-drive- now rules the desert! Never mind the fuel-economy thing; it's off-road prowess that gets Starlets off the showroom floor!
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Toyota_Celica_494.flv", 506, 423,""); The problem facing the producers of this ad was plain: they had a budget of roughly $2.99, yet needed to show how futuristic and advanced the new third-gen Celica really was. The solution? Huff paint until your vision goes all woobly, then start the cameras rolling! Arriving on the planet in a snow globe Space Sphere, the Celica awed the world with its quasi-flip-up headlights and ability to drive in a straight line!
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Nissan_Sentra_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Of course we realize that the books were cooked on that 58 MPG figure; the old EPA test had about as much to do with real-world driving as the image of Sea Monkeys has to do with real brine shrimp. Still, though, the '82 Sentra sipped gas through a cocktail straw, and entry-level econoboxes 26 years later are guzzling the stuff by comparison. Would present-day car buyers find this Datsun intolerably loud, cramped, and bouncy, pissing themselves in terror every time an Expedition loomed in their field of vision… and what's with the hand-cranked windows and lack of air conditioning? Yeah, a car like this would have no chance today, but let's see what happens when gas hits 10 bucks per!
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newVideoPlayer("/75_Chrysler_NYer_JackJones_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Now that the '75 New Yorker is quite the collector's car, with original examples changing hands for upwards of several dozen dollars, we can understand why Jack Jones was so appreciative of the deep-tufted velour interior and 230-horse 440 under the hood. But that sticker price of $6,611 was more than a grand more than the Cordoba's- talk about car buying dilemmas! And check out the bit right before the ad- Game 7 of the 1975 World Series!
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Pinto_476.flv", 506, 423,""); How about the Bauer family, with its ten Pintos in 1980? Hard to believe, but Pintos were once as common a sight as the Taurus is now. With 38 very optimistic highway MPG, these multi-Pinto families could thumb their nose at that damn Ayatollah and his gas-price-jacking hijinks!
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newVideoPlayer("/75_Pacer_Wide_494.flv", 506, 423,""); OK, so the Nova would stick out the back if you tried to stuff one inside a Pacer's shell (though the Pinto and Vega might fit). The point here is that the Pacer was completely crazy- no, wait, we mean incredibly innovative! Tough as it might be to believe today, the Pacer sold pretty well and was once a common sight on the road.
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newVideoPlayer("/70s_Renault_18_Diesel_494.flv", 506, 423,""); When you've got 66 mighty horsepower clattering under the hood, you know no chains can hold you! Does the Renault 18 chained up in a Roman amphitheater symbolize some sort of Italian-French automotive rivalry? And how many clutch discs were destroyed during the filming of this ad?
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Mercury_Cougar_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Perhaps this ad is a bit lighter on the cocaine than the Hot Stuff '81 Mustang ad , but we're talking a few grams at most. Otherwise, it's all there: high heels, polyester, anorexia, miserable engine outputs... and the Ford Fox platform. The sad thing is that the Cougar's (claimed) 34 highway MPG would be pretty decent among the bloatmobiles that pass as "economy" cars today.
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Fiat_Ritmo_476.flv", 506, 423,""); North Americans knew the Fiat Ritmo as the Strada , but did they realize that the little built-by-robots Bertone-styled machine was possessed by Il Diavolo? Just watch as the happy Ritmo-equipped family gets tailgated by a menacing Jaguar (or maybe it's a Daimler)… but then Papa stands on the gas, all sixty ramaging Italian horses kick in, and the Fiat lunges ahead!
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newVideoPlayer("/83_Camaro_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Whether you were grabbing a gear with the 190-horse IROC- oh, wait, you couldn't get the manual transmission with the Tuned Port Injection 305- or experiencing the joys of leaky rubber seals with your Berlinetta's T-tops, the 1985 Camaro let you live it! The glitchy VHS recording just makes this ad that much more Eighties, we think.
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Pontiac_6000_476.flv", 506, 423,""); In the early 80s, it looked like American cars couldn't compete with the imports so well any more. But wait! Here comes the '82 Pontiac 6000, which does its talking where it counts: on the road. Loaded for bear with a (90 horsepower) four-cylinder engine and totally different from its Chevy Celebrity sibling, the 6000 no doubt had Japanese auto execs diving out of office windows.
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newVideoPlayer("/70s_Leyland_Princess_476.flv", 506, 423,""); You can forget everything you've heard about the utterly execrable build quality of British Leyland's nadir, the Princess . Turns out that front-wheel-drive setup, Hydragas suspension, and weight savings from all the parts that fell off during normal operation made for excellent off-road performance!
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newVideoPlayer("/Goodwrench_Fuel_Saving_81_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Want to boost the mileage in your '80 Malibu wagon from 11 MPG all the way up to 13 MPG? Mr. Goodwrench has four ways: Air up! Tune Up! Clean Up! Slow Up! Then, next time those pesky Iranians make oil prices go crazy , you'll be ready.
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We saw the 'I like it going up and down' Mini run away with the vote in the Top Ten Car Ads Of The 60s poll yesterday, and today we continue the Fourth Of July Celebration Of Vehicular Consumption Series with- you guessed it- the 1970s. The decade of Watergate, the Fall of Saigon, oil embargoes, 5 MPH crash bumpers... but don't forget custom vans, Acapulco Gold, and Foghat, not to mention the Bicentennial Fourth of July celebration! Make the jump to check out the ads and cast your vote. 10: 1976 Triumphs Caught in the act by your special lady's husband, you have no choice but to leap out the window- wearing only a towel- and run straight to the nearest British Leyland dealership, where a vast assortment of Triumph machines provides a dubious escape hatch. Fortunately for you, the enraged cuckold makes his pursuit in possibly the most unreliable British car ever made: a Triumph Stag! 9: 1971 Plymouth Duster We tend to think that a woman who knows all the specs on a '71...
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newVideoPlayer("/81_Maaco_Charo_476.flv", 506, 423,""); When you're talking minor Malaise Era celebrities, you can't do much better than Charo . Maaco decided the ideal ad would start off with Ms. Cuchi-Cuchi providing the intro, then go straight into wooden-faced testimonials from allegedly satisfied customers, including a guy with the classic partly-tinted Serial Killer Eyewear™ look.
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