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newVideoPlayer("/89_DetroitAutoWorks_Muscle_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Detroit Auto Works of Seattle is still around, though these days they don't seem to focus so much on classic Detroit musclecars as they did back in the 80s… and where's Low Profit Mont nowadays? Imagine an era, just a couple decades past, when 60s Camaros and Chargers still served as transportation!
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newVideoPlayer("/87_Plymouth_Sundance_Quebec_494.flv", 506, 423,""); It turns out that Céline Dion really did make French-language Chrysler commercials back in the 80s, and here's another one allegedly featuring the future superstar. Thrill as she hoons that '87 Sundance right up the Stade Olympique in Montreal, miraculously avoiding arrest at the summit. Maybe 146 turbocharged horsepower (although this car appears to be the 97-horse NA version) is all you need to accomplish such a feat!
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newVideoPlayer("/Isuzu_Beats_911_494.flv", 506, 423,""); As we know, the Isuzu I-Mark is a mighty racing machine. But did you know that the '89 I-Mark RS could eat up a 911 piloted by a steely-eyed German on a rain-soaked autobahn? Sure could, provided you-know-who was at the wheel. Guten morgen! Thanks to Maxichamp for the tip.
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newVideoPlayer("/Rainier_Beer_494.flv", 506, 423,""); If you were within, say, 1,000 miles of the Pacific Northwest during the 1970s, you remember this ad. In fact, if you were a kid during this time, you and your friends imitated it ceaselessly… and if your family had a car with a manual transmission, you and your siblings imitated it every time gears were changed during road trips, until your parents developed a powerful thirst for something way stronger than watery Seattle brew in order to blot out the maddening sound from the back seat. We know, it's not really a car commercial, but there's an engine involved! And check it out- here's an account by the guy who wrote and produced the ad- isn't the Internet great?
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Toyota_Cresta_494.flv", 506, 423,""); In 1980 Japan, it was possible to get synthesizer keyboards with far more futuristic "whistling echo laser" effects than those used anywhere else in the Free World. Naturally, the Cresta was the machine most deserving of those keyboards. Somewhat similar in appearance to its American cousin, the Cressida, the Cresta was basically a luxury-enhanced Corona Mark II. Nice car, but we'd rather have a Crown Super Saloon .
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newVideoPlayer("/81_BMW315_Germany_494.flv", 506, 423,""); We couldn't get the gas-sipping BMW 315 over here in Nordamerika ; instead, we had to make do with the thirsty 320i version of the E21 platform. Over in Germany, however, the money saved on gas by the 315 facilitated drive-by Quaalude deals between wholesome-looking tennis players… or whatever the hell is going on in this ad. Key swapping?
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newVideoPlayer("/89_Camaro_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Why did the Berlin Wall go crashing down in 1989? Some might try to confuse you with all sorts of economic or political gibberish, but the answer is actually real simple : the third-generation Camaro destroyed the Evil Empire's will to live! Look at the triumphant American Camaro owners in this ad- with 230 horsepower (that is, for those who bought the IROC; the base V6 had 130 horses) at their command, victory was theirs!
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newVideoPlayer("/70s_Renault_18_Diesel_494.flv", 506, 423,""); When you've got 66 mighty horsepower clattering under the hood, you know no chains can hold you! Does the Renault 18 chained up in a Roman amphitheater symbolize some sort of Italian-French automotive rivalry? And how many clutch discs were destroyed during the filming of this ad?
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newVideoPlayer("/70s_Ford_Capri_Germany_494.flv", 506, 423,""); When you're jumping off a cliff while strapped in your German-flag-colored hang glider and clad in the finest of polyester duds, you don't want your special lady to pick you up in some jive-ass tape-striped Opel. You want her to roar down the mountain in a high-performance Ford Capri! Thanks once again to Franzouse for the tip.
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newVideoPlayer("/56_Dodge_Welk_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Lawrence Welk's band performing a brain-damagingly bouncy rendition of "The Camptown Races" around the campfire with a '56 Dodge as the subject of their serenading? Bring it on! We're a little skeptical about the claim that the Dodge broke all the records at "Bonn-E-Ville" (though a '55 Dodge did set 306 records after driving 31,224 miles in 14 days there); we think Lawrence should have done a big brake-stand burnout with that 315 Hemi on live TV.
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newVideoPlayer("/Simca1000_Spain_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Would you believe two million Simca 1000s were made? Chrysler's little rear-engined machine was a hot seller all over Europe, including Spain, where we see a driving instructor and his student experiencing awe as a result of the incredibly luxurious features of the 1000.
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It was mighty nice of Ford to wish GM a happy 100th birthday by strategic window-blind arrangement on their office building, but things weren't quite so friendly back in the days before the imports grabbed a huge slice of the car-sales pie. Back in '66, when the Mercury Division was gearing up to release the Cougar, they projected a huge Cougar ad… on the side of GM's Detroit headquarters! GM could have retaliated by using gasoline to burn a big Camaro ad into Henry Ford II's lawn, but they took the high road. Thanks to Mark for the tip. Image credit: CoolCats.net .
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newVideoPlayer("/69_AMC_Rebel_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Back in the late 1960s, American Motors didn't just focus on cheapness in their ads. Oh no, they wanted potential car buyers to realize that you could beat the living crap out of their cars and they'd still stay in- more or less- one piece. We think the actor playing the driving instructor here should have won an award for the "I can't turn while you're looking at me" sequence!
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newVideoPlayer("/80s_MrTransmission_494.flv", 506, 423,""); This 80s classic starts out much like a mashup of a Monty Python skit and Deliverance , complete with grotesquely huge mechanic pounding an ancient adding machine, nebbishy customer sporting bottle-bottoms, and Southern Sheriff-esque shop manager. Then Jerry Clower appears, in his role as Mr. Transmission spokesman. Yes, they'll even rebuild your Rush-Matic!
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Mercury_Cougar_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Perhaps this ad is a bit lighter on the cocaine than the Hot Stuff '81 Mustang ad , but we're talking a few grams at most. Otherwise, it's all there: high heels, polyester, anorexia, miserable engine outputs... and the Ford Fox platform. The sad thing is that the Cougar's (claimed) 34 highway MPG would be pretty decent among the bloatmobiles that pass as "economy" cars today.
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