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newVideoPlayer("/91_Chrysler_Colt_Quebec_494.flv", 506, 423,""); We're pretty sure that the woman driving the '87 Sundance up the Stade Olympique in Montreal is not Céline Dion- though all the YouTubers swear it's her- but this ad for the '91 Dodge Colt does appear to feature Quebec's most famous daughter. First she dances with some scurrilous-looking gents, then leaves a swath of destruction behind her rebadged Mitsubishi, which is powerful enough to melt parking meters .
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newVideoPlayer("EscortRS2000_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Back in the Malaise Era, Europeans could buy a rear-drive Ford Escort equipped with the Pinto 2.0 liter engine, and it was a pretty good performer by the standards of the time, racking up plenty of rally wins. Fast-forward to the early 90s, and Ford figured they'd cash in on the RS2000 name by sticking the 150-horse DOHC four-cylinder engine out of the Sierra into the little front-driver. Cue the Rocky theme!
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newVideoPlayer("91_EscortGT_476.flv", 463, 387,""); With its crypto-Billy Idol soundtrack and jiggly graphics, this ad for the '91 Escort stands with one foot in the Eighties and the other in the Nineties. Check out that extraordinarily plastic-looking grille, which warned the unwary of the 127 horses under the GT's hood. Perhaps Team Make:Way is onto something with their choice of an early-90s Escort as their 24 Hours of LeMons entry!
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newVideoPlayer("91_Olds_Silhouette_476.flv", 463, 387,""); Remember the "Dustbuster" GM minivans? The Trans Sport? The Lumina APV? The Silhouette? Sure, it's only been a little over a decade since they stopped making the things, but just about every last one has disappeared. They can't all have been crushed by now, so where did they go? Into space , of course! Let's let the daughter of famous poet Leonard Nimoy 'splain how UFOs are really time machines!
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With the Oldsmobile division just 13 years from getting stuffed into The Crusher, GM decided to go with Noah Webster's great-great-great-great grandson to pitch the 1991 Olds 98. See, when you look up "Luxury" in the Webster's... well, you should see a photo of the '91 Olds. With much the same "cheap-ass luxury" theme as the '70 Impala ad we saw a while back , we've got to admit we're not really convinced by this ad. However, there's another pitch for the Olds 98 that makes us feel better about the car... Sure, Chuck D dusted those boys off in an 80s box Ninety-Eight with rear-wheel-drive (and turbocharging, if we are to take his lyrics literally), but you get the idea. Suckers (and Achievas) to the side!
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When you don't have to worry about apex seals or fuel economy- say, in IMSA racing - that rotary engine suddenly makes a lot more sense than it does for grocery-getters (though we don't listen to the anti-rotary crowd's propaganda; we're wiggy for Wankels around these parts, in spite of their drawbacks, though we'd like them even more if Mazda would bring back the Cosmo). In addition to the Patsy soundtrack, this 1991 ad also features lots of artsy images of gloomy drivers and crew members cursing non-Mazda cars that have fallen to pieces.
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Since the DOTS car today was a Honda , it seems like a good time to look at some Japanese-market ads for a somewhat more expensive Honda model (OK, the NSX was sold as an Acura on these shores). The Very Serious Narrator cracks us up, though we do like...
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