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newVideoPlayer("/88_Renault5_Spain_494.flv", 506, 423,""); British car buyers felt alive in a Renault 5 , the Germans rocked out in their 5s , but only the Spanish could drive a 5 right into a world of hieroglyphs and ancient Egyptian cassette decks. ¡Comprate un oasis!
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newVideoPlayer("/87_Corolla_FX_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Everyone remembers the FX16 Corolla , but what about the plain ol' economical FX? It was the cheapest Corolla you could get, and the ones sold here were made in California… and it appears that most of them are still on the road today. Sure, that flat hatch looked hideous a little odd, but in an endearing sort of way.
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Starlet_JDM_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Those sand rails had better look out, because the Starlet- right off the boat from Japan and sporting JDM fender mirrors and right-hand-drive- now rules the desert! Never mind the fuel-economy thing; it's off-road prowess that gets Starlets off the showroom floor!
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newVideoPlayer("/84_Hyundai_Stellar_494.flv", 506, 423,""); The Hyundai Stellar was quite the mishmash of parts-bin bargains, with the same chassis as the Ford Cortina Mk 5, a Mitsubishi engine, and styling by Giorgetto Giugiaro . That doesn't matter, however; what does matter is that ads for Korean cars have the most awesome combo of macho voiceover and cheezy echo effects in the history of automotive marketing. For another good one, check out the Daewoo Maepsy ad when you're done here.
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newVideoPlayer("/87_ChevyDealer_BernieCarbo_494.flv", 506, 423,""); When you're going for a celebrity endorsement of your car dealership, you have to pay extra for a celebrity who will show some enthusiasm for your lineup of Celebrities and Sprints and/or enunciate clearly. In this case, Casey Chevrolet opted for the no-frills delivery of Red Sox hero Bernie Carbo . Can you feel the passion for that Celebrity Eurosport?
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Toyota_Celica_494.flv", 506, 423,""); The problem facing the producers of this ad was plain: they had a budget of roughly $2.99, yet needed to show how futuristic and advanced the new third-gen Celica really was. The solution? Huff paint until your vision goes all woobly, then start the cameras rolling! Arriving on the planet in a snow globe Space Sphere, the Celica awed the world with its quasi-flip-up headlights and ability to drive in a straight line!
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newVideoPlayer("/82_Nissan_Sentra_494.flv", 506, 423,""); Of course we realize that the books were cooked on that 58 MPG figure; the old EPA test had about as much to do with real-world driving as the image of Sea Monkeys has to do with real brine shrimp. Still, though, the '82 Sentra sipped gas through a cocktail straw, and entry-level econoboxes 26 years later are guzzling the stuff by comparison. Would present-day car buyers find this Datsun intolerably loud, cramped, and bouncy, pissing themselves in terror every time an Expedition loomed in their field of vision… and what's with the hand-cranked windows and lack of air conditioning? Yeah, a car like this would have no chance today, but let's see what happens when gas hits 10 bucks per!
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newVideoPlayer("/84_VW_Rabbit_476.flv", 506, 423,""); While many mid-80s VW buyers were satisfied with a plain ol' Kleine GTI , others were willing to take extreme measures to get their hands on the Wolfsburg Edition Rabbit. Yes, climbing up on a moving car transporter was totally worth it , considering you'd get such features as a cassette deck and cool emblems.
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newVideoPlayer("/80_Pinto_476.flv", 506, 423,""); How about the Bauer family, with its ten Pintos in 1980? Hard to believe, but Pintos were once as common a sight as the Taurus is now. With 38 very optimistic highway MPG, these multi-Pinto families could thumb their nose at that damn Ayatollah and his gas-price-jacking hijinks!
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newVideoPlayer("/JDM_Supra_476.flv", 506, 423,""); The empty eyes… the evil smile… what does that satanic kid have to do with the Supra? And why is Toyota apparently so proud that the new Supra is about 15 times the size of the 2000GT?
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newVideoPlayer("/84_LTD_494.flv", 506, 423,""); The Fox-based '84 Ford LTD really did handle pretty well… if you checked the boxes for all the suspension options that came on the cop version when you bought one, that is, and for some reason that bit of info doesn't get much play in this ad. This ad would have been far more entertaining had Mr. Bondurant taken the base version out for some door-handle-scraping racetrack action. Why, some madmen even autocross the Fox LTD!
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newVideoPlayer("/85_Mitsubishis_476.flv", 506, 423,""); Remember the Mitsubishi Cordia? The Tredia? Where are all those Cordia Turbos today? Of all the nameplates shown in this ad, only the Galant is still around 22 years later… but that spirit of the 80s will live on forever in the Mitsubishi theme song!
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newVideoPlayer("/Peugeot_205_France_476.flv", 506, 423,""); When a man really loves a woman, he stalks pursues her at high speed, menacing pedestrians and driving on the tracks in front of a big ol' steam locomotive. What better car than the Peugeot 205, which was sold via the use of the Bronski Beat song in this ad and an even more dated ABC song in another one? Of course, we like the French James Bond Peugeot 205 GTI ad the best! And since we're feeling so 80s that we're ready to trade some arms for hostages and send the profits to Freedom Fighters, let's watch the original music video for the Bronski Beat song used in this ad. Weren't the 80s great?
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newVideoPlayer("/85_Corvette_476.flv", 506, 423,""); We may laugh at the early C4 Corvette these days, since most of the ones you see now are beat-to-hell heaps adorned with custom gear purchased from Manny, Moe, and Jack. Back in the mid-80s, however, it was quite the bang-for-buck deal, selling for $25K- half the cost of the Porsche 928S- and outhandling some of Europe's hottest machinery. OK, fine, the build quality wasn't so great and the engine only made 230 horsepower and the styling screamed "small-time coke dealer," but it would eat up a Ferrari on the race track!
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newVideoPlayer("/87_Subaru_South_476.flv", 506, 423,""); With today's Subaru ads- and, for that matter, Subarus themselves- being so slick these days, it's enjoyable to watch a low-production-value ad from 20 years ago. That's right, forget about that big ol' Chevy pickup you thought you wanted- you'll be kickin' up that Tennessee dust with your new XT!
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