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newVideoPlayer("/Jones-Trucks.flv", 494, 371,""); As the story goes, Toby Jones is an enterprising young rapper who managed to buy a junked-out warehouse somewhere on the south side of Chicago for a dollar and now he's willing to store your junk for unheard of prices! Have you got a clapped-out Firebird cluttering your driveway? Are you in need of bus or elephant storage space? Would you like to take advantage of a drunken businessman's genius marketing plan? At Jones' Big ASS Truck Rental and Storage, do all this and more! We called the advertised number, and an answering machine picked up with Toby on the recording. Now that doesn't mean it's fer reals, but it does mean Toby's comedy troupe, Big Dog Eat Child, really went the distance to make it believable. With advertising like this we hope Toby Jones, Owner/Driver/Junk Specialist, is up to his elbows in Other Peoples Pitchings in no time. [ Jones' Big ASS Truck Rental and Storage , Big...
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Getting your favorite Ferrari F430 Scuderia out of the ever-lovin' middle of nowhere in Kyrgyzstan, certainly presents some challenges, but anonymous oligarchs cannot be denied their whims. The roads in this forgotten part of the world are considered apocalypse-grade, the only real way out is by air. Enter the Russian AN12, an aircraft normally used to ship palletized goods, but here, it's been drafted for Ferrari shipping duty. galleryPost('ferrariplane', 6, 'Loading A Ferrari On A Plane'); In this set taken by a US Airman, we see local airport workers struggling to get the car loaded without causing very expensive damage. Perhaps most amusing is what looks like burnout marks in the mat covering the loading ramp. Maybe that first attempt didn't go so well. In any case, hopefully this baby made it to its destination safely, but considering the less than first class accommodations, we doubt it. [ My350Z Forums ]
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newVideoPlayer("/cheesecheesecheese.flv", 576, 336,""); Washington truckers and dairy farmers have come together to attempt to boost winter safety numbers by creating a cheesy concoction combining common road salt and a byproduct of the cheese production process . What's the result? The salt sticks to the road, meaning your car does too. An added bonus is the decreased corrosion with this new mix; your Honda hatchback will live forever! We shudder to think what those roadways will smell like come spring. [ CNN ]
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newVideoPlayer("/cheesecheesecheese.flv", 576, 336,""); Washington truckers and dairy farmers have come together to attempt to boost winter safety numbers by creating a cheesy concoction combining common road salt and a byproduct of the cheese production process . What's the result? The salt sticks to the road, meaning your car does too. An added bonus is the decreased corrosion with this new mix; your Honda hatchback will live forever! We shudder to think what those roadways will smell like come spring. [ CNN ]
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With the 2008 Arse Freeze-A-Palooza 24 Hours Of LeMons race coming up in just a few weeks , all 100 or so teams are fully locked into total panic final-stretch mode, frenziedly thrashing working on every last goddamn thing a few final details to get their iron heaps steeds ready for racin' action. Naturally, all the teams will be spending a lot of time at self-service junkyards, scrounging up bargain-priced components in a hopeless heroic attempt to meet the deadline, and so LeMons Chief Perpetrator Lamm has found a way to add to the misery fun: the first-ever 24 Hours Of LeMons Junkyard Scavenger Hunt! You have to figure the kind of guy who parks a couple of beat-to-hell Alfas and an allegedly nice Datsun 240Z in his living room, as the Chief Perp does, might be a little funny in the head about junkyards… and you're right for thinking that (yes, that's TheEastBayKid hard at work at LeMons HQ, which is a short commute from the Perp's living room). We've conspired cooperated...
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The artist responsible for this sign advertising the services of Alameda Auto Lab appears to have had an interesting perspective on both human anatomy and vehicle design.
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If you live in Lyndhurst, New Jersey and have a 1993 Ford Explorer with 249,911 miles on it, the only reasonable thing to do is convert it into a pirate ship. That solid logic coupled with the lure of cash-money from a Halloween costume contest led its creators to build this masterpiece. We were heartbroken to see this swashbuckling creation went for only $499, it would have made a wonderful Jalopnik staff car for our New York division. The only problem would have been the inevitable Ninja attacks . The very capitalized eBay advert we copied below is a study in surrealist writing. galleryPost('fordpirateship', 6, 'Ship Comes With Clean Title'); WOW... IS THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE THIS FORD EXPLORER CONVERTED INTO A PIRATE SHIP. THIS SHIP WAS BUILT AS A HALLOWEEN PROP, AND IN COMBINATION WITH OUR PIRATE COSTUMES, HELPED US EARN A LOT OF MONEY THIS HALLOWEEN. THIS SHIP TOOK SEVERAL "BEST COSTUME" PRIZES EARING US THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. THIS SHIP IS BUILT OVER A FORD...
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Rather than throw elbows in a deal-frenzied crowd of Christmas shoppers on Black Friday last week, I accompanied Black Metal V8olvo crew chief Hellhammer on a parts-car-obtainment mission down to Santa Cruz. Highway 17 was full of shoppers, however, and I spotted this Buick Skylark convertible hauling a huge LCD television and maintaining a pretty decent clip. Note the added safety provided by the dual bungee cords, hooked into the highway-speed-rated cardboard handles. What could possibly go wrong? galleryPost('BlackFridayOlds', 3, 'Buick Convertible Hauls Very Large Television');
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var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/autos/Thirty_Vehicular_You_re_Doing_It_Wrong_Moments_PICS'; Now that everyone is familiar with the glorious art of automotive FAIL , it's time to introduce FAIL's kissing cousin to the automotive world: The "You're doing it wrong" internet meme. Let the good times roll below the jump. Our friends over at Motive have waded knee-deep through this series of tubes known as the internet to bring you all of the wonderful ways folks can and will do it wrong. Since "YDIW" is so closely related to fail, almost imperceptibly close, it is important to note the subtle differences. Who are we trying to kid - The internet isn't supposed to make any sense. galleryPost('stilldoingitwrong', 29, You Are Still Doing It Wrong');
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var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/comics_animation/Amazing_Tilt_Shift_Video_From_Monster_Truck_Rally'; Tilt-shift photography can be used for many things, but one of the more interesting is a technique used to trick the mind into thinking very large things are very small. Tilt-shift takes advantage of our familiarity with very close up images of small things, where the object of interest is in focus, but everything else is progressively blurred. Keith Loutit has applied this technique in video form to an indoor monster truck rally and demolition derby event with stunning and awesome results. The full video below in huge format for your viewing pleasure. ( Thanks for the tip Mark ) [ Metal Heart from Keith Loutit on Vimeo via The Atlantic ]
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What do you get for the Nissan GT-R owner that has everything except a Snap-On toolbox customized with an image of their car printed on the side of it? A Snap-On toolbox customized with an image of their car printed on the side of it. We just got the flyer from Nissan advertising this toolbox, which proclaims the ten-drawer, double-bank drawers are being offered exclusively to GT-R owners, much to the disappointment of Nissan Rogue and Titan owners. There's no word on the cost for this accessory, but we'd guess it'll come in somewhere around the price of the Nissan Versa 1.6S . Oh, and using it will probably void your warranty . Features list and flyers below the jump. galleryPost('snapongtr', 2, 'The Cheapest GT-R On The Market'); Nissan GT-R Toolbox Features Stainless steel top and drawer guards Nissan GT-R Graphics Secure lock and key Custom-etched name plate Ball bearing slides are quiet and smooth rolling Five inch soft wheels on casters Full double wall...
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newVideoPlayer("/Stolen-Mazda3.flv", 494, 371,""); Let's say you're MacGyver, you've turned to a life of crime and need to steal a car. All you have is a shoelace, some tin cans and a nail. Of course you punch a hole in each can, string them together and hook them to the bumper of a car then lie in wait to pounce when the driver gets out to see what's making all that racket as they pull away. As perfect as this plan may be, we suspect it's probably staged since the otherwise clever plan would be thwarted when the would-be victim approaches from behind and sees cans hooked to the car. Plus the 'get in, start up, drive, stop and get out' sequence happens too fast to believe it wasn't staged. But who are we, CSI? Judge for yourselves. [ youtube ]
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Speaking as someone who has done it, being an engineer for any of the not-so-Big Three is something of a soul-crushing endeavor. Deadlines are always too aggressive, budgets are always too small, management never grasps the true complexities of a system, and you inevitably have to deal with totally incompetent suppliers who over promise and under perform. It's a delightful job. That kind of experience makes the open letter from a Honda employee that arrived at the offices of BoingBoing seem like working there is some kind of magical fantasy-land of happy rainbows and pony rides. Be sure to head over and give it a read, but the email describes a place where the sun rises and sets on curiosity and innovation, where you're more or less free to do as you want and where everyone is treated with respect even in the face of conflict. Sounds like a total fallacy to us. Maybe even Honda propaganda. Take the opening paragraph for instance: Honda is a freak, by American and even Japanese standards...
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The brilliance of Wikipedia is vigorous peer review on even the most minute detail and completely humorless administrators. That genius produces a fairly reliable and constantly evolving public encyclopedia. Unfortunately, it also manages to kill some absolutely brilliant fiction in favor of maintaining the "truth" about past events. Take for instance the origins of the Michelin Man, an advertising icon almost as old as the tire company it represents. In the real world Bibendum, the actual name of the character, was created by an artist specifically for advertising purposes. In Wikipedia 's revisionist record, the origins of the Michelin Man show the murderous past of an out of control robot on a rampage. If the Wikipedia archive page ever goes away, which, if we understand how that whole thing works it won't, you can view the revision page we're talking about here because it is a masterpiece of imagination. Below is the entire account of the life and times of Bibendum...
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var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/autos/Twenty_Nine_Automotive_Fails_PICS'; This internet thing can be a damn silly place sometimes. A Hawaiian blogger adds the words "I can haz cheezburger" to a picture of a crazy looking cat and the place filled up with poor grammar cat images faster than a Fiero gets dressed in Lamborghini bodywork these days. The latest massive internet meme is even more simple. Take a funny picture of unfortunate happenstance, add the word "Fail" and bask in the schadenfreude. More so than any other site, Failblog.org has become the purveyor of all things fail and that extends deeply into the automotive world. No surprise really, we've all seen the way people drive on a daily basis. So now, let us present to you this, the 29 fails of an automotive nature. Hit the jump. galleryPost('failcarstuff', 29, 'So Much Fail, So Little Time'); Failblog.org ]
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