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We try not to read ESPN columns too often because it most often ends with someone having to restrain us so before we can bash our iBook against the wall. Don't get us wrong, we love Bill Simmons and all of that, but a recent column about Jeff Gordon's identity crisis represents both the worst in writing and the worst aspects of celebrity culture in racing (since no one hosts dogfights, apparently). We could excerpt the whole article about how life was so tough for Jeff Gordon, how ordering food in a restaurant alone was a great victory and about all he had to through before he felt worthy of his supermodel wife. But we like you. The lede is just a gem of unnecessary exposition: In the cramped single-seater men's restroom at Café Luxembourg in Manhattan, on the wall behind the toilet, hangs a '40s-era black-and-white photograph of three women, naked, leaning on the bar, bare bottoms in all their cheeky glory right out there for the world to see. In the photo, the ladies in...
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