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There are so many ways for things to burn. You can get road burn if you fall off a bike. You can burn chicken if you grill it too long. You can burn a CD of underground German Tom Waits tracks for your friend. In honor of the new 90210 you can get some awesome sideburns. You can Burns & Allen if you're into old comedy. You can watch Burn Notice on USA if you work from home and still like Bruce Campbell. Finally, if you're OldeEnglishD you can use the What's The Ultimate Hurricane Survival Vehicle? QOTD to put a fairly harsh burn on the Bush administration. Based on Katrina, I'm going with Air Force One... Someone get a jar of aloe vera for the boy because he just got burned . [Photo Credit: MOHAMMED SAWAF/AFP/Getty Images]
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Though popular history tends to look at World War II as a fairly straightforward conflict between democracy and fascism it's far more complicated than that. When the Soviets and the Americans met on the Elbe they partied as allies, which was such a distressing sight to the Germans that one shot himself in the head in front of a partying group of soldiers from Omaha and Siberia. The democracy in Britain actually declared war on the democracy in Finland as part of their allied stance with the Russians and against the Germans. The Finns decided they were better off not allying themselves with the Russians and actually helped the Germans with intelligence and offered a place to launch planes in their attacks on the British. The sad story of a Veyron crash in a british wheat field brought together memories of other alliances for Ash78 . Hope that field is clear of foot & mouth disease, because apparently heel & toe disease is running rampant. In other news, this isn't the first...
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As most of you probably know, tonight is the night that Barack Obama addresses the Democratic National Convention and the nation as the first African-American nominated for president by a major party. His victory was a result of an extended and often complicated primary that involved delegates, superdelegates, half-delegates and Guam. In this uncertain environment, NBC's Chuck Todd turned into a star political analyst because of his ability to understand and explain what was happening. With a grasp of delegate math and an impressive collection of facial hair, he's earned the moniker Mathbeard. But however smart Mathbeard may be, he couldn't have explained the process better to Jalops than Graverobber did today in the Volvo 740 post. Well, now we know where the Obama campaign got their slogan. And I could totally see Obama as a Volvo; a black, V70-R- sporty but safe and family oriented, but with unknown durability. Parked beside it would be "Biden", a white 740 which...
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For those who grew up after the mid 1970s, the television show The Wonder Years was our best window into the turbulent period in American history between the Chicago Democratic Convention and the resignation of Richard Nixon. Even for those individuals uninterested or unversed in the history, the show captured most of the touchstones and common experiences of post-industrial American adolescence. Unfortunately, the show is unlikely to come out on DVD soon because of its extensive use of wonderful but royalty-laden music. For those like commenter TheBrewPub , our daily Down On The Street does a great job of sparking nostalgia. I still remember when my dad brought home the 'new' (it was used) car - the 1978 Cordoba. I clearly recall clamboring into the backseat and marvelling at the crushed velvet upholstery, since the 'doba was replacing a Gremlin with hot sticky black vinyl seats. I remember my mom slamming her fingers in the behemouth door (twice!), I remember sticking my tongue...
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The longest running theatrical show in Chicago isn't Chicago or CATS! or anything you've likely heard of if you live outside the city. It's Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind by a theater group called The Neo-Futurists. The show consists of 30 two-minute plays performed in a single hour as requested from a "menu" of previously conceived plays. One of the favorite bits is a striptease involving two minimally dressed young performers. But unlike most stripteases, the performers add more and more clothing until they're dressed appropriately for a night out in Siberia. This reminded us of the Toyota Motor Oil re-debut today, which NICKNICK found did not quite live up to expectations. You asked for: Two hot Asian models, a flat surface, lube, and a camera. You got: this. Leave it to Toyota to take the fun out of anything. No Toyoglide for you tonight, buddy. [Photo: Jough at Flickr ]
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Most years, viewing all the Oscar-nominated "Best Films" would be an okay way to spend eight hours. This year it was a bit rougher. The Academy selected a novel legal thriller, a funny family comedy and three bleak and demanding films. Having already seen the nominated films, we skipped the event, but we had a few friends who went to go see all five films at a special showing in a somewhat rural part of Texas. After a showing of There Will Be Blood , a middle-aged woman with a thick accent stood up and asked "Will someone with a college education please explain that to me?" Today's story of fellow Texan T. Boone Pickens and his energy plans may have perplexed her too, but Ash78 wasn't confused. There Will Be Water I drink your natural gas!
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One of the reasons Futurama has had such staying power is their success at creating memorable minor characters. One of the best minor characters is Hedonismbot, a robotic bacchanalian that lives his days as if tomorrow will never come. With his assistant Djambi, the fat Romanesque robot funds crazy projects like an opera about a woman written by a man. How delightfully absurd! And what car would Hedonism buy (or have dipped in chocolate)? The 2012 Bugatti Veyron . We'll let 1300ccsoffury speak for the reasons why. Old news. They're already hard at work on the details. The new dashboard apparently is covered in a new space-age material that keeps the blow in its place during cornering manuevers up to 1.1g, the seats will be wrapped in the finest skins of unwhipped, cage-free Sri Lankan children, and the navigation system will come pre-loaded with preferred disposal areas for the dead Malaysian transvestite hookers in the front trunk (which will also be lined with designer tarps from...
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The song "Blame Canada" from the South Park movie was nominated for an Oscar. And even though the Best Picture nod for Crash and many, many other slights makes us doubt the power of the Academy, it is still an impressive feat for an animated film that doesn't have talking fish in it. Then Canadian Prime Minister Kim Campbell, who we once shared an elevator with, enjoyed the song and even Anne Murray, who is called a "bitch" in the song, would have sung it for the Oscar telecast if she didn't have a prior arrangement. The whole purpose of the song is to point out how Canada is ruining young minds. In the drunk masturbating driver post today mechimike shared another story of northern wrongdoing. About the worst thing I've ever done, that was even REMOTELY close: About a year ago, a buddy of mine had a birthday. I'm not sure what birthday it was, doesn't really matter, wasn't relevant. At any rate, what was relevant was, said friend wanted to get...
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It seemed like one of those days in Chicago where it threatened rain all day but not a drop actually hit the pavement. Alone for the weekend I thought I'd head to the local bar, grab a beer and watch the game. Just in case the game got rained out I brought a book along. A short block away from the bar the first wet gust of wind hit me and nearly made off with my umbrella. Soaked, disheveled and a little peeved I grabbed a seat at the bar. The game was quickly postponed for rain so I got out my book, Leon Jaworski's The Right And The Power , and started reading. I'm not sure what about looking like crap and reading a book about Nixon appeals to women... but I couldn't keep women from hitting on me. One after another. Sometimes in groups. Attractive women. Being in a committed relationship I rebuffed their advances, cursing myself for not thinking of this strategy earlier. As with the story above, OrangeRazor in today's QOTD decided that inattentiveness is the key to the...
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That Audi R8 in a canal is just another reminder the SLR Guy is not alone when it comes to bad driving. We all probably know at least one bad driver. But who is the worst? And how do you define a "bad" driver? The number of traffic violations? The number of accidents? Inability to control a vehicle? Personally, we think that inattentiveness deserves a place high on the list. One of the worst drivers we've ever known had a bad habit of eating, smoking, talking on a cell phone and fidgeting with the radio at the same time. Driving around with him in high school, in whatever beater he managed to scrape together enough pocket change for, was a harrowing experience. The closest I've ever come to dying in a car was with him behind the wheel of his dying Toyota Corolla hatch on a toll road. The entire trip with him he weaved across lanes, darted in and out of traffic, ran through toll gates and smoked close to a pack of cigarettes. Not once during this trip did we see either...
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That Audi R8 in a canal is just another reminder the SLR Guy is not alone when it comes to bad driving. We all probably know at least one bad driver. But who is the worst? And how do you define a "bad" driver? The number of traffic violations? The number of accidents? Inability to control a vehicle? Personally, we think that inattentiveness deserves a place high on the list. One of the worst drivers we've ever known had a bad habit of eating, smoking, talking on a cell phone and fidgeting with the radio at the same time. Driving around with him in high school, in whatever beater he managed to scrape together enough pocket change for, was a harrowing experience. The closest I've ever come to dying in a car was with him behind the wheel of his dying Toyota Corolla hatch on a toll road. The entire trip with him he weaved across lanes, darted in and out of traffic, ran through toll gates and smoked close to a pack of cigarettes. Not once during this trip did we see either...
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Before records, radios and iPods, those who didn't have access to sheet music had to get their tunes by hearing them live. This meant that the number of songs available were generally limited, and many ditties were recycled numerous times with different lyrics. As such, many tunes originally started out as drinking songs. For example, a Swedish drinking tune apparently begat a British sea shanty which begat "John Brown's Body," which we now know as "The Battle Of Hymn Of The Republic." Our very own "Star Spangled Banner" is, originally, the old English drinking song "To Anacreon in Heaven." We don't have a tune for it, but we have Mad Science to thank for the following Corvette ZR1 First Drive drinking game: 1 Drink for: -Every GTR reference -Every Viper reference -Every time the word "torque" is used -Any discussion as to whether or not this will help "save" GM -Every comparison between Wes and a "typical"...
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If you didn't grow up in Illinois, you might not understand why all the state government buildings close on the first Monday of March for the mysterious "Pulaski Day." We can offer an easy explanation: Casimir Pulaski was a famous Polish soldier who, after running afoul of the Russians, was sentenced to death and fled the country. He eventually arrived in the United States, fighting under the command of General George Washington and helping the army form a strong cavalry unit. Pulaski died in 1779 from wounds sustained in the Battle of Savannah and has been remembered with holidays, congressional acts, and numerous places/ships/buildings named in his honor. All of this, of course, is a setup to allow us to feel better about posting a joke by chenslee from the Polish tornado video this morning. I couldn't see crap in that video. There always seemed to be a pole in the way. SING! I mean, ZING! [Photo: Getty Images]
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For those who have been living in a pop culture vacuum, the video below is from the show Flight Of The Conchrods , which chronicles the semi-fictional lives of New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo. Watching the video is the only way to fully appreciate Maxforrest32 's winning comment from the who needs a fourbanger? if you live north of the equator. If you want me to I could downsize for you If I only knew Thats what you're into You and four Four and you If thats what you're into A smaller four, smaller just for you You're saving cash, ya you're saving too And if you want me to I'll charge more for it too I'll make you like it too If thats what you're into How 'bout a four If thats what you're into With a four in front of you Is that what you'd wanna drive If it's cool with you I'll let you save gas too It could be a dream come true providing that's what you are into My apologies...
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In a work of narrative art, the creator often will use a framing device in order to set the tone and context. This is usually referred to as "bookending." For instance, Evelyn Waugh uses the return of a character to an old estate to set up and end the story of an English Catholic family in his novel Brideshead Revisted . This is also commonly used in cinema. One of our favorite examples is Annie Hall , which uses a joke to set the first bookend of the film: There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." After much pleading, we posted video of a serious 2009 Corvette ZR1 burnout and a few of you managed to complain about it. Thankfully, Krautwagon was around to put them back in their place. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. What the hell is up with the unusually-high Francis quotient in this thread?...
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