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Welcome to Project Car Hell , where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! The sporty Simca beat up on the magnificent Humber in our last Choose Your Eternity poll , meaning France gets the PCH Superpower trophy… once it's out of the shop, that is. Today we're going to look at the sort of cars that desperate motivated sellers often refer to as "head turners." You know, it's weird and sort of cool, but also sort of horrible… and wouldn't it be fun to own one? The Basement Lambo was great, but who's got that kind of time? You might not want a Fiero-based Fieroborghini , but how about something in between? Say, this tube-framed, turbo Buick V6-powered Lamborghini Countach replica (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced at a low, low, super-low $8,000! Now, part of the reason this car is so cheap might be that the general pall of loserness cast by the sword-sliced Muncie home invaders (see photo...
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Welcome to Project Car Hell , where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! Yesterday, we were not quite shocked to see the backyard-turbo'd VW GTI obliterate the rod-knockitty Toyota FX16 by a 76:24 margin in the Choose Your Eternity poll . Today we're going to consider the Fauxrrari, and- just to make it more interesting- we're not considering Fiero-based cars. That's right, no Fierraris! You've got your Fauxrraris based on Fieros, or Corvettes, or 280Zs, or even Mitsubishi Eclipses. But say you want the reliability and VTEC power of a Honda product in your Fauxrrari? Sure, sure, it's front-wheel drive, and maybe that makes a Ferronda even more of an abomination in the eyes of Ferrari purists, but horrifying the purists to the point where they have to start dumping extra anisetta shots in their espresso just to maintain the will to live… well, that's why we're here, isn't it? Of course it is...
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Britain beats Italy, though by the slimmest of margins, in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll , with the '64 Lotus Elan eking out a 51/49 victory over the '60 Lancia Flaminia. That means we'll need to set up a Britain-France PCH Schmackdöwn Challenge™ pretty soon... but that comes only after we cross the river of flaming gasoline that separates us from Fiero-Based Project Hell. The General saw fit to build vast quantities of mid-engined, plastic-bodied cars back in the 80s, and that means that hundreds of cigar-chomping entrepreneurs believed they could make vast quantities of cash putting "improved" bodies on Fieros. Fierraris, Fieroborghinis, Pantieros, Fiersches... and let us not forget Fiero-based coke-dealer-centric statusmobiles! Ah, the Fierrari! Do a search for "Ferrari" in any online classifieds, and you'll find that most of the results are Fiero-based cars. Your Fieroborghini tends to be more crass, less refined, but a good Fierrari is...
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Yesterday, we had what may be our closest Project Car Hell vote yet, with the '91 Jaguar XJ-S holding a 199 to 194 lead over the Toronado-ized Dune Buggy in yesterday's Legends of LeMons Choose Your Eternity poll . I'd say that counts as a tie, and- try to follow the logic here- that means we need to do away with the unifying theme for today's entrants. You want a project that's so cool you wake up in the middle of the night just feeling happy that you own it, yet wake up screaming an hour later as you realize that the price to finish the project is your immortal soul! The Ford Mainline has a cool name, as does the Packard Patrician. Oh, sure, you can find all manner of old American vehicles with cool names, but we challenge you to find one that measures up to the Studebaker Dictator (OK, gauntlet thrown down, get busy with the names). Studebaker Dictator! Try saying it a few times. Take it for a spin around the block, see what you think. Of course, taking the name around...
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The last time we set foot in the Hell That Is Project, the blown Kaiser Manhattan just barely beat the blown VW Corrado , showing that heartbreaking dilemmas can be fun! For today, I wanted to pick a couple of glitz-heavy high-roller machines , but there's something important missing from all the ones I could find for sale. Yes, what your Excalibur, Johnson Phantom, Zimmer Golden Spirit, or Tiffany really needs is a Hemi! And not one of these here newfangled 426 Hemis. We're talking about a genuine 392 engine (check out Allpar's history of the Chrysler Hemi if you're in the mood for a good read). That way you'll combine excellent taste in automobile styling with an engine that bellows "High Roller Approaching!" to the world. For a project like this, you want to have some hardware sticking through a big hole in the hood of your blingwagon, and it goes without saying that you want the engine to breathe freely all the way up to 7,000 RPM (just in case your entourage...
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Nearly two-thirds of readers surveyed felt that the Wright Cyclone 1820-powered Mercury Cyclone was the way to go in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll , no doubt because, like, pistons rule! Today we're going to take a look at Kit Car Hell, which last scorched our hides in the Fieroborghini versus Bradley GT matchup. Inspired by the stylish lines of the Classic Motor Coaches Gazelle we saw in a recent DOTS, today we're going to look at a couple of classy machines built on Volkswagen pans. Thanks (and a Project Car Hell Tipster T-shirt ) to Discontinuuity for the tip! Tell us where you're gonna find a genuine Bugatti for a thousand bucks? Nobody but you needs to know if you decide to roll in a "Bugatti" instead, right? Just pick up this 1928 Bugatti kit car (go here in case the ad is gone) for a cool grand and you can just go ahead and change your name to Ettore (in fact, maybe we should all change our names to Ettore, kit car or not). Oh, wait- one small detail...
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Now that we've established that 70% of you would prefer to hook up at the Beelzebub Acres Mobile Estates Park with a 1951 Cadillac-based motorhome , you'll need a lightweight machine to tow behind the rig (since it's likely that your V8 Vega or Pinto will end up on fire in a ditch and thus be unavailable for transportation). But there will be no sensible Samurai or mundane Metro for you. Oh no, not in Project Car hell- you'll need something agonizingly cool yet coolly agonizing to go with your Caddabago... Kellison Motors made some pretty interesting cars in the 1960s , fiberglass sports-car bodies fitted with the customer's choice in drivetrains. The J-5 had a loony power-to-weight ratio with just about any engine you could find, and you can have this 1963 example for peanuts (high bid at the time of this writing is only $550). Of course, for that kind of price you figure there might be some, you know, issues . I think it's all summed up by the seller's statement...
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With the unregisterable JDM WRX pounding the daylights out of the turbocharged SE-R in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll , you'd think we'd find a couple of nice Japanese cars for you. A couple of sweet deals on, say, an AE86 that was only driven...
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