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Welcome to Project Car Hell , where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! Yesterday, we were not quite shocked to see the backyard-turbo'd VW GTI obliterate the rod-knockitty Toyota FX16 by a 76:24 margin in the Choose Your Eternity poll . Today we're going to consider the Fauxrrari, and- just to make it more interesting- we're not considering Fiero-based cars. That's right, no Fierraris! You've got your Fauxrraris based on Fieros, or Corvettes, or 280Zs, or even Mitsubishi Eclipses. But say you want the reliability and VTEC power of a Honda product in your Fauxrrari? Sure, sure, it's front-wheel drive, and maybe that makes a Ferronda even more of an abomination in the eyes of Ferrari purists, but horrifying the purists to the point where they have to start dumping extra anisetta shots in their espresso just to maintain the will to live… well, that's why we're here, isn't it? Of course it is...
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The Detroit (well, actually South Bend) machine put up a good fight against the Detroit-powered British Leyland product yesterday, but it's tough to beat a PCH Superpower and thus the voters gave the victory to the V8/IRS MGB-GT in yesterday's poll. But are we giving up on America as a credible PCH contender? Hell no! That's the thinking behind today's Detroit-versus-Paris matchup, and we'll see how things sort out. Big American pushrod V8s are always cool when installed in a European car- just look at the Jensen Interceptor or Facel Vega to see what we mean. However, the nature of Project Car hell is such that you need to drop your crude-yet-potent cast-iron powerplant into a car whose designers never imagined such a combination in all their wildest opium dreams. You could just pick out the car and do the entire swap from scratch, but it's far more insane fun to start with someone else's half-finished project! Say, this 1967 Peugeot 404 (go here if the ad disappears...
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Can an American car- even a 60-year-old American car made by a long-defunct manufacturer- compete with an entry PCH Superpower Italy? Not according to our most recent Choose Your Eternity poll , in which the '38 Studebaker Dictator lost out to the '68 OTAS 820. That might have something to do with the fact that most of the OTAS now resides in the belly of the Rust Monster, but it also points out just how tough it is to beat a PCH Superpower. However, Project Car Hell is all about beating your unstoppable head against an immobile brick wall, forever, so we're coming right back with another Italy-versus-America matchup. And not just your quotidian-type X-1/9-versus-Pacer deal, oh no- today we're plunging headfirst into the molten sulfur of Custom Stretch Limo Hell! Ah, the custom stretch limo! Conjures up treasured memories of projectile-vomiting Bacardi 151 all over your prom date's Very Expensive Dress, don't it? Keep in mind, however, that renting a custom stretch...
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As most of you know by now, the Shorty Chopped Corvair was judged to be cooler/more hellish than the T-Bird-esque Auto Union 1000SP by the voters in Friday's Choose Your Eternity poll. With all the G8amino excitement today, we're going to turn away from two-strokers and groovy customs and get straight to some car-with-truck-bed goodness. The problem with an El Camino as a Project Car Hell entrant is that it's just too easy . Even the most decrepit example shares most of its components with made-by-the-millions cars that benefit from a vast reproduction parts industry and pool of junkyard parts, making the parts-obtainment process nowhere near hellish enough. But when you get into an El Camino that's been converted into a drag race car in someone's back yard... well, now we're talking! See, what you really want to take to the dragstrip is a vehicle with apocalyptic amounts of power combined with zero weight over the drive wheels, preferably with drum brakes on at...
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The last time we set foot in the Hell That Is Project, the blown Kaiser Manhattan just barely beat the blown VW Corrado , showing that heartbreaking dilemmas can be fun! For today, I wanted to pick a couple of glitz-heavy high-roller machines , but there's something important missing from all the ones I could find for sale. Yes, what your Excalibur, Johnson Phantom, Zimmer Golden Spirit, or Tiffany really needs is a Hemi! And not one of these here newfangled 426 Hemis. We're talking about a genuine 392 engine (check out Allpar's history of the Chrysler Hemi if you're in the mood for a good read). That way you'll combine excellent taste in automobile styling with an engine that bellows "High Roller Approaching!" to the world. For a project like this, you want to have some hardware sticking through a big hole in the hood of your blingwagon, and it goes without saying that you want the engine to breathe freely all the way up to 7,000 RPM (just in case your entourage...
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We had a few complaints that yesterday's Choose Your Eternity challenge wasn't quite hellish enough (although we're pretty sure the buyers of those two Japanese AWD turbomobiles are going to be shaking their fists at cruel Fate pretty soon). But we aim to please, so now we're coming back with a pair of positively punitive projects for your perusal. Thanks (and a Project Car Hell Tipster T-shirt ) to Mink66 for the tip! Wouldn't you feel sharp rolling down the boulevard in a vintage Mercedes roadster? Ja, ja, of course... but- Mein Gott!- look at the price tags on those things! But don't walk away, buddy- have we got a deal for you! How about this 1956 Mercedes 190SL (go here if the ad disappears) for only $6,500 asking? You'd probably ask "Where's the catch?" Well, no, you wouldn't- not after you saw the photos! But don't let appearances fool you- this car is even rougher than the photographs indicate. Take a deep breath and dive into some...
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Nearly two-thirds of readers surveyed felt that the Wright Cyclone 1820-powered Mercury Cyclone was the way to go in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll , no doubt because, like, pistons rule! Today we're going to take a look at Kit Car Hell, which last scorched our hides in the Fieroborghini versus Bradley GT matchup. Inspired by the stylish lines of the Classic Motor Coaches Gazelle we saw in a recent DOTS, today we're going to look at a couple of classy machines built on Volkswagen pans. Thanks (and a Project Car Hell Tipster T-shirt ) to Discontinuuity for the tip! Tell us where you're gonna find a genuine Bugatti for a thousand bucks? Nobody but you needs to know if you decide to roll in a "Bugatti" instead, right? Just pick up this 1928 Bugatti kit car (go here in case the ad is gone) for a cool grand and you can just go ahead and change your name to Ettore (in fact, maybe we should all change our names to Ettore, kit car or not). Oh, wait- one small detail...
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With yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll, most of the commenters seemed to prefer the Pinto, yet 55% of voters went with the Vega. What does that mean? It means that you'll need the appropriate mobile domicile to go with your little V8-powered deathtrap, since you'll want to adopt the life of a ramblin' man (or woman). See, when that open road starts to calling you, and there's something o'er that hill that you've got to see, you need to start shopping for motorhomes! And, since this is Hell, you don't get a nice motorhome where everything works- you have a three-figure budget and lots of repairs to make! We can all thank Mad Science for the "You Could Live In It" idea. Space is at a premium when you're goin' mobile, and to have room for your toast and tea and tape machine you'll need a big machine. Really big. That's why we've found this 36-foot Chrysler 440-powered motorhome , located in the picturesque nuke-test fallout-saturated southwestern corner of Utah. The seller doesn't bother...
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