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Welcome to Project Car Hell , where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! Last time we stepped into the garage in which the gentleman with the pitchfork conducts his business, the choice had to be made between two 1973 PCH Superpower machines, one Italian and one British. Only one car can win, and this time Italy triumphs, with the $2,500 Pantera beating the Lotus Elite, with 70% of the votes. Today we're going with a topic that's been on everyone's mind lately: what will you drive after the Fianciapocalypse? The vehicular options readers suggested were sound, but, in my opinion, the best way to ride out hard times is to become the unquestioned leader of a powerful religio-militaro-pharmaceutical cult, complete with desert compound and "soldiers" on dune buggies… and for that, you must drive a car whose mere presence shouts "Warlord Prophet approaching!" For that, only vintage British luxury will...
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Welcome to Project Car Hell , where you choose your eternity by selecting the project that's the coolest... and the most hellish! In our last plunge into the Lake Of Fire, we saw the Alpine A310 stomp the Matra Murena like Napoleon pulverizing the Russians in the Battle of Austerlitz, with a decisive 70-30 split in the poll. Today we're going to go from PCH Édition Débâcle to something a little closer to home: Lowrider Project Hell! First, let's have the anthem! Before you go lining up your airbrush artist and gold-plating shop, you need to get a starting point. Since we're going old-school traditional here, the obvious choice would have to be the '64 Chevy Impala coupe. Now, you could find yourself a nice original '64, but have you priced them lately? You won't be able to afford that huge mural depicting La Noche Triste across the hood if you blow your entire roll on Day One, and it's simply unacceptable to get a four-door or even a Biscayne. We've got...
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The Mazda 1500 wagon combined parts-obtainment impossibility with nobody's-ever-seen-one obscurity to beat the right-hand-drive '75 Nissan Fairlady in Friday's Choose Your Eternity poll . We weren't sure how well a non-rotary Mazda would fare in such a matchup, but the win was by a decisive 60/40 split. Today we're heading to Detroit, which always presents certain challenges for this series; how do you find a Detroit Big Three machine that's hell enough? So much standardization of components and so many junked examples surviving- the coolness part is there, but where's the hopelessness? However, let's say you want to restore a 40-year-old police car, complete with the correct engine, vintage cop gear, decals, the works... ahhh, now we're talking! You see some nice mid-60s big Fords , and you can find totally trashed parts cars , but when's the last time you saw a '65 Ford Police Interceptor that actually started life as a police car? You know...
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Was it fair to pit a stock Mercury Lynx against a Chevette diesel-powered RX-7 in yesterday's Diesel Dilemma Edition Choose Your Eternity poll? Probably not, as the diesel Mazda pounded the daylights out of the badge-engineered Escort. Today we're going to move away from cars that you might consider using as everyday transportation and head into the realm of cars that stick their voracious snouts into your wallet every time they detect the proximity of a race track. That's right, it's Vintage Racing Hell today! Naturally, we'll need to go with PCH Superpowers Britain and Italy for this one, and the decade of the 1960s seems about right to sucker you into believing that these cars aren't so old that parts obtainment will be impossible. Hey, what's 40 or 50 years, right? You want to get into some serious GT Touring action at the next vintage racing event in your area? Good thinking! Of course, you'll need to roll up in some Italian steel, and said steel needs...
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Is an air-cooled Japanese cartruck both cooler and more hellish than an airbrushed Malaise Detroit Vantruck? According to almost two-thirds of you , it is! Today we're going to hit the mailbag again, adding yet another reader to the waiting list for the next run of PCH Tipster T-shirts , because McGyver managed to come up with a pair of totally irresistible choices. How about a Spanish-built French car with an air-cooled two-banger... versus a forward-control Jeepamino? The agony! You know you're looking at a genuine deal when the seller starts off his description with "YO!!!!!!!!" and finishes it with "BUT ITS ALL THERE!!!!!!!!!" See, that's because extra punctuation equals sincerity. And Philadelphia, where it's OK to pass out on the gas pedal of your Audi , is all about the sincerity. So feel confident when you drop $2500 on this 1963 Jeep FC-150 (go here if the ad disappears), because it "runs good." Oh, sure, even the seller will admit...
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The "what the hell is that? " field surrounding the Mitsuoka Viewt gave the Nisan March-based machine the edge over the Clenet II in yesterday's 392 Hemi Swap Edition PCH poll . Today seemed like a good day for a Choose Your Eternity matchup with a theme based on a song, since it's been over a month since the Tom Waits Edition PCH . So how about that endlessly-replayed Jan & Dean favorite from 1964, Dead Man's Curve? Anyone who's been to a car show featuring vintage Detroit machinery has heard this song enough times to know the two vehicular protagonists by heart: Corvette Stingray and Jaguar XK-E. Dead Man's Curve is a real piece of road, by the way; it's a stretch of Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles (yes, that Sunset Boulevard ). So if all you want your hapless street-racing opponents to see is your six taillights, you'll need to start shopping for a '64 Corvette Stingray. You can find plenty of painstakingly restored ones for 80 godzillion...
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We had another near-tie in yesterday's Choose Your Eternity poll , with the '80 Rolls beating the '59 Triumph by just a few percentage points. Today, we've decided to present you with two starkly different options, either of which would be pretty damn cool to have in your personal automotive stable... after the copious application of time, money, and heartbreak, of course. Owning a finned Cadillac limousine would make you feel like Dean Martin on the way to a gig at the Sands, with a suitcase full of cash in the trunk and a couple of showgirls pouring your martinis. Or, better still, like J. Edgar Hoover on the way to a wiretap, with a trunk full of incriminating files condemning your enemies to lives of misery! What would you say if you had a chance to buy a limo originally purchased by J. Edgar himself? According to its seller, this 1964 seven-passenger Cadillac Limousine is just such a car. The seller claims that GM Heritage has verified Mr. Hoover as the original purchaser...
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For the first time in Project Car Hell history, yesterday saw a Porsche lose a challenge against a non-Porsche ! For today, I was going to reach into the PCH Mailbag and pull out one of the excellent tips y'all have been sending in, but then it happened: I was walking down Howard Street in San Francisco earlier today and I was thinking about how my Civic is due for a new timing belt, and how I should probably do the job this weekend, and then I started this internal mental debate about timing chains versus belts and that reminded me of my friend Andrew and how he got stranded in the middle of rural Alabama when the timing chain in his '66 Malibu ate all the teeth on the crank sprocket... and then I stopped at the crosswalk and a vintage Malibu drove past: Plate O' Shrimp Moment! So, you see, it goes without saying that we must now have a Repo Man -themed Project Car Hell. When you're talking cars from Repo Man , you're more or less required by law to start the discussion...
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Most Choose Your Eternity polls give you a choice between two Hell Projects; for example, you can choose between two impossible Czech projects (and, in most cases, you will take the Tatra over the Skoda). However, after we voted on my personal PCH dilemma , another one of our Jalopnik writers went ahead and bought a hellishly cool project car without bothering to consult the readers! Yes, He Who Shall Remain Nameless (for now) got himself a 1964 suicide-door Continental , yet he's not sure which particular kind of hell he would prefer to have searing the flesh from his bones. This is where you, dear readers, come in! Put on your polling caps and cast your vote for the type of project you think best suits this fine example of Landyachtus Detroitus. Remember, Project Car Hell holds a great- though nearly impossible to attain- completed project as the bait that keeps you toiling in the Lake of Fiyah, so vote for the choice you think has both the hottest flames and the most tantalizing end...
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