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It turns out that the LeMons Supreme Court did hand out a stiff penalty to at least one racer during the BS Inspection process… and whaddya know, it went to the Team Chard Beef Buick Regal ! For some inexplicable reason, a GM G-body with a so-called 307 Chevy aroused judicial suspicion, and the gavel fell hard . These guys obviously didn't read Cheating Tip #2 . But maybe it really is a 307 and these poor innocent New Englanders are getting railroaded- let's have a poll! Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.
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Those of you who read Judge Loverman's account of serving on the 24 Hours of LeMons South Supreme Court might be telling yourselves "That's interesting, but I really want to know how to give my alleged 500-buck race car an unfair advantage at the next race and get away with it!" Of course you do, because- in the the immortal words of my uncle and early gearhead influence, Dirty Duck : "There's two kinds of racers- losers... and cheaters! " Back in the 60s and 70s, Dirty Duck was crew chief for quite a few dirt-track racers in rural Minnesota and Wisconsin, and a staple of my childhood was hearing his tales on how he'd discourage any idea of claiming a $5,000 car under a thousand-buck claimer rule. One particularly effective approach was the installation of a steel plate that could be made to scrape on the driveshaft with the pull of a lever. The driver would wait for the last few laps of race (at which point he'd have a huge lead), pull the lever...
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