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OK, fine, we know the official rules state that "added structural elements which extend past the original bodywork line" aren't allowed in the 24 Hours Of LeMons, but how could anyone be against this kind of safety enhancement? Actually, that display is the result of a game of Volvo 240 Musical Chairs, in which you take one Volvo race car , the free parts car obtained to help build the race car, and another free Volvo… and you mix them all together and end up with two Volvo racers and a well-picked-over (but still useful) parts car to bring to the 24 Hours Of LeMons Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza in December. For the rest of the story, you must jump like a Fiesta bouncing off the Quadra-Bumper! With a mere 13 weeks remaining until the Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza race at Thunderhill, it's time for teams to get serious about car preparation (and those of you who haven't even started, we have one word of advice for you: PANIC!). While the Bent Belvedere was getting its cage installed...
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When racing started at Altamont on Sunday, we knew we had some catching up to do; thanks to overestimation of fuel consumption, some pit slowness, and a penalty incurred by yours truly (more on that later), we started the day in 44th place out of 90 cars. We had the power, we had the skilled drivers, and we had a block of Swedish steel that could shrug off hits from the biggest opponents. And, speaking of the biggest opponents, a certain bullying orange Plymouth fared quite badly in a series of paint-trading incidents with our own WhatWouldJesseDo ; see that orange paint on the tire in the image above? galleryPost('LemonsAlt97Damage', 9, 'Black Metal V8olvo Damage Will Buff Right Out');
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With all the excitement of the race, I totally forgot to post photos of what the Black Metal V8olvo actually looked like by the time we had it all painted and bedecaled. Thing is, we didn't have time to apply the decals until we actually got the car to the racetrack. First of all, some commenters have wondered about the skulls mounted on the front edge of the car's roof. Those aren't just decorative skulls that just sit there . Hell, no! These are anatomically correct med-student skull replicas, and they're equipped with crowns of plumber's tape, Fiat indicator lights for eyes, and Dodge minivan vacuum motors operating the jaws! With high manifold vacuum (i.e., idling, cruising, decelerating), the vacuum motor pulls the skull's jaw shut; low manifold vacuum (i.e., gas pedal mashed to the floor) allows springs to pull the jaw open. I'll write up the fascinating details of how to build such important racing accessories for yourself, but for now let's check...
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So we put in the Loverman followed by Viergangfuchs this morning and started knocking off some quick laps, passing like crazy and moving up to the 20s in the standings; Mr. Baruth has our best lap time, with 51 seconds. Now the Evil Genius is driving, and he's also fast as hell. However, the level of competition is getting ratcheted up, tempers are flaring a bit out there, and we're dishing out and receiving some damage in the heat of the action; the front suspension just needed some major toe adjustments after a bit of mutual metal grunching with our friend Xarg 's Cavalier wagon . Sorry, guys! Meanwhile, the Porcubimmer, after leading for a while yesterday, has been de-quilled by various mechanical maladies; full report later.
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There was definitely a sense of gloom hanging over the pits this morning, but just about everyone here felt that we ought to go out and have fun doing what the late Mr. Summerfield loved doing: racing. The number of cars out on the track is quite a bit smaller than what we had yesterday, as mechanical failures take their toll (though Jay Lamm's rigorous "don't hit each other" policy is working well, with not many cars getting sidelined by enduro-style damage). Team Black Metal V8olvo is now in Full Hammer Down Mode, with our fast drivers out there and our car rising in the standings (at last check, we were #34). Our goal: to be the fastest Swedish car! I may not have time to post for a while, as I'm on pit duty and my driving turn is coming up shortly, but will do my best.
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And here comes pride up the backstretch! I'm the next driver up, so this will be brief: right now our friends on Team Porcubimmer are in first place! Black Metal V8olvo is in "preserve the car" mode, so we're running in the middle of the pack now. The car seems to be doing all right, although those of you who predicted that the Mercedes-Benz radiator would leak have been proven correct (not a serious leak, fortunately, and we have a spare).
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We've spent the morning applying stickers, discussing driver strategy, and being hectored by Mr. Lamm about all the horrific penalties that await overly aggro drivers (in honor of Mother's Day, one penalty involves being forced to eat an entire meatloaf while another team member plays the role of the mother, hovering and shouting that the victim is the Least Favorite Child). I'm pretty busy now, but stay tuned for more live action when I get a breather! [ 24 Hours of LeMons and 24 Hours of LeMons Altamont coverage]
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Teams competing in the 24 Hours of LeMons race can check in and get their cars past the tech inspection judges on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. Teams showing up on Friday get first shot at the good pit spaces, and Team Black Metal V8olvo decided to claim some real estate today. Tech inspection went smoothly and we're cleared to race. All the cars we saw were quite well-prepared, with the full complement of safey equipment . We didn't see anyone busted for blowing past the $500 price ceiling, but we only saw a handful of the 90 entrants go through the inspection... so we'll see how that plays out. Plenty of Swedish steel at the race this time, including this Volvo 244. Yes, it's a 244! We counted at least five Volvos besides our own (including a 780 Bertone with a Swedish flag on the roof), plus several Saabs, and most of the cars haven't even arrived yet. This 242 Turbo was at the Thunderhill 24 Hours of LeMons race back in December. Hey, is that a Merkur XR4Ti...
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When your V8-powered Volvo race car already has a 5-speed , Fiero wing , and hood scoop , what more do you need? That's right, a great big Swedish Rebel Flag on the roof! We had this planned for quite a while (though several commenters read our minds and suggested the idea), and we finally made it happen last weekend. Before you go and read Señor Loverman's TTAC writeup, make the jump to check out the blow-by-blow. [The Truth About Cars] The car was already blue, so that meant that we just needed to put some yellow bars on the roof. Yes, we have other worries (cooling system problems and a garbooned oil pump during our test driving at a Volvo club meet at Thunderhill last week), but we might as well not even bother showing up if we have no Swedish Rebel Flag! I'm sure my Swedish immigrant ancestors would shed a few tears if they could just see this. Of course, they left Sweden, so maybe not. But we're the Dukes of Göteborg! We need stars! 13 stars, to be exact. I'll...
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Not long after I joined a 24 Hours of LeMons team , I attended a barbecue at a friend's house. Friend's husband, Darren, is a motorcycle mechanic, so naturally all the gearheady guys gravitated to the garage to look at grimy machinery and listen to Atomic Bitchwax on the garage boombox... and then I saw it . Just lying there on top of a box of Honda pistons was an old battered Mr. Gasket Street Scoop. Yes! Turns out it came installed on a '65 Chevy pickup Darren bought for bike-hauling purposes, and the first thing he did upon taking delivery of the truck was to remove the scoop and fill in the crudely hacked hole in the hood. "I must have that scoop for the race car," I told him. "How much you want for it?" I didn't quite grab him by the lapels and shake, but there was no mistaking my air of urgency. Darren's price was very reasonable, as in free ("What the hell do I want with this redneck thing? Take it!"), and now we've gone ahead...
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