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OK, fine, we know the official rules state that "added structural elements which extend past the original bodywork line" aren't allowed in the 24 Hours Of LeMons, but how could anyone be against this kind of safety enhancement? Actually, that display is the result of a game of Volvo 240 Musical Chairs, in which you take one Volvo race car , the free parts car obtained to help build the race car, and another free Volvo… and you mix them all together and end up with two Volvo racers and a well-picked-over (but still useful) parts car to bring to the 24 Hours Of LeMons Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza in December. For the rest of the story, you must jump like a Fiesta bouncing off the Quadra-Bumper! With a mere 13 weeks remaining until the Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza race at Thunderhill, it's time for teams to get serious about car preparation (and those of you who haven't even started, we have one word of advice for you: PANIC!). While the Bent Belvedere was getting its cage installed...
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Teams competing in the 24 Hours of LeMons race can check in and get their cars past the tech inspection judges on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. Teams showing up on Friday get first shot at the good pit spaces, and Team Black Metal V8olvo decided to claim some real estate today. Tech inspection went smoothly and we're cleared to race. All the cars we saw were quite well-prepared, with the full complement of safey equipment . We didn't see anyone busted for blowing past the $500 price ceiling, but we only saw a handful of the 90 entrants go through the inspection... so we'll see how that plays out. Plenty of Swedish steel at the race this time, including this Volvo 244. Yes, it's a 244! We counted at least five Volvos besides our own (including a 780 Bertone with a Swedish flag on the roof), plus several Saabs, and most of the cars haven't even arrived yet. This 242 Turbo was at the Thunderhill 24 Hours of LeMons race back in December. Hey, is that a Merkur XR4Ti...
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When we started out to build a V8-powered Volvo 244 for the May 10-11 24 Hours of LeMons race, most of the team members assumed we'd be using the good ol' C4 automatic transmission. You know, automatics are way easier to swap, with no troublesome clutch linkage to futz with. But Crew Chief Hellhammer (formerly known as Dave) pointed out that he's built plenty of manual-equipped rods, and then he directed our attention to several Ford V8-compatible T-5 5-speeds (and no C4s) sitting in the weeds behind his shop (he's been working on a '57 Ford project, so his stash-o-parts is heavy on Ford running gear). With our minds filled with images of slushboxes overheating and dying at last year's Altamont race, we decided to go with three pedals instead of two... then held our collective breath when it came time to make it happen for real. As it turned out, this is a ridiculously easy swap (well, by the standards of weird engine swaps, that is). The 5-speed shifter even lined...
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While the Black Metal V8olvo crew was working on the rear of the car, we took care of the Number One Priority immediately by installing a Fiero wing . Now, you'd think that such a wing would radiate such an impenetrable aura of cool that no other driver would dare hit our car, but we figured it wouldn't hurt to get some cheap insurance by dealing with one of the most vulnerable points on the Volvo 240 race car: the fuel filler. By all accounts, LeMons Volvos tend to get hit in the right rear, which knocks the fuel filler pipe loose and causes a fuel leak, which makes the guys with the black flags get all upset (and they've got a two-strikes-yer-out policy on fuel leaks). It's an easy fix, though! Look at that fuel door, just begging for a '75 Buick to bash it in about a foot during the race. Can't have that! So, all you need to do is cut the original filler, reattach it to the fuel tank at a different angle, lengthen it with about a foot of fuel-proof flex hose added...
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Now that the 24 Hours of LeMons shit-talking has begun , I find it necessary to present some more evidence to show that the V8-ified Volvo 240 is Your Best Race Car Value, even though it means giving away some tricks to our real competition (i.e., the other teams driving Swedish steel). You see, some teams are coming up with this crazy talk about how they've got the best bang-for-buck with their Cavaliers or MR2s and such, but are there countless MR2s sitting in back yards, just waiting for some kind, trailer-equipped soul to come haul them away for free? As we've seen, perception of the poor brick-shaped Göteborg machine has gone from beloved daily driver to gas-swilling outcast recently, with local junkyards bursting at the seams with 242s, 244s, and 245s. That means that a Craigslist ad with the headline "DEAD VOLVO WANTED, WILL TOW" gets an immediate response. We had observed that many teams gave themselves a big advantage in the pits (both for parts to use on their...
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