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The 2008 Hummer H3 Alpha reminds us of an old advertisement for Marlboro cigarettes, the one where a cowboy is seen lighting his cigarette from a flaming log plucked from the campfire. You see, cowboys don't use Bics or Crickets. Hell, this guy is so manly he doesn't even use the manliest, smelliest of lighters, the Zippo. Hell no. He uses a chunk of fiery lumber like a real man — a Marlboro man — is supposed to. Similarly, the 2008 Hummer H3 Alpha seems to say, "Let the crossovers have their comfy rides and reasonable step-in heights and decent cargo space and fuel economy. I am the Alpha male. The leader of the pack. I will breed first, eat first, walk first in line and I will light my cigarette by whatever absurd means I damn well please." GM pumped up the five-cylinder shortly after the H3's introduction, but that was merely a stopgap until the Hummer could do the sensible thing and plunk a V8 under that fake, plastic hood vent. Sure, it required the firewall to...
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